Thursday, January 31, 2008

Thursday Thirteen: TV Shows

  • The Office (I am a fairly recent convert to all things Dunder-Mifflin but this one makes me laugh until I pee my pants.)
  • Friday Night Lights (Seriously, if you aren't watching this, you should be. A great show!)
  • The Cosby Show (The ones when the kids were still kids. Those were great episodes. Remember when Cliff "rented" Theo a room to teach a lesson?)
  • Grey's Anatomy (It's pretty contrived and there is a whole lot of adultery going on but McSteamy? Oh. So. Beautiful.)
  • Project Runway (I am a reality show junkie, I am embarrassed to admit, and this one is at the top of my list right now. Isn't it funny, though, how these people can create such lovely stuff and dress like they stepped out of Goodwill boxes?)
  • Antiques Roadshow (Being one generation removed from Poor White Trash, I long to be handed down some fabulous pottery or end table worth more than my home.)
  • Jon & Kate Plus 8 (Kate Gosselin? Yeah, this woman should be sainted. 8 kids? 6 of whom are three? No way I could do it. None. )
  • Brothers & Sisters (I am so glad Rob Lowe got a new job.)
  • House (Do I even need to explain?)
  • Little House on the Prairie (I watched it as a kid but now watch it with my daughter. It is fun to see them again and now I really appreciate the fact it is so G rated!)
  • Lost (A magical island? A plane crash? I have to DVR this because it gets me too excited to go to sleep after watching!)
  • Medium (I am really intrigued by ESP, psychics, and all things paranormal and this show is just cool!)
  • Intervention (I find this difficult to watch but sort of like a car accident you just can't look away from.)
To see more Thursday Thirteen, go here.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Tuesday, January 29, 2008


Her Highness: Mommy, I cleaned my room!
Me: You did? Are you pulling my leg?
HH: (puzzled, looks at hands and then my legs) No!

When she said "no!" It sounded much more like "No, stupid! I am NOT pulling your freakin' leg; are you crazy?" Apparently, my daughter had never heard this expression before. I guess she is still pretty literal at eight years old. Just when I start getting convinced that she is nearly grown, something like this happens and reminds me she is still my little girl. Sarcastic, yes. But still little.

Thank God.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Momma Gone Wild

For once in a long time, I didn't play it safe this weekend.

Despite my son having lots of sleeping issues right now, which I am 99% sure is teething (yippee!), I bit the bullet and left him and my daughter home with a sitter on Saturday evening so my husband and I could attend my friend Joanie's surprise 40th birthday party.

I almost didn't go. I was so afraid the little monster, I mean, darling would wake up and cause the poor 17 year old sitter all sorts of hell and I would be forced to return home anyway that I nearly canceled. My husband said, "he'll be fine and, if not, we can be home in 20 minutes".

So, I threw caution to the wind and reluctantly relented.

And I am so glad I did. It. was. a. Blast!

There was wine, a band, wine, food, beer, karaoke, conversation, wine, NO CHILDREN, dancing and a little wine. And I partook of it all.

And it was so good.

After the second drink, I didn't even care if the little monster, I mean, darling woke up and screamed until my boobs and I returned home. Not even a little.

After the fourth drink, I was dancing, singing and making all sorts of new friends.

After the sixth drink, I forgot I had children.

And, after the eighth drink...well, suffice it to say, I shoulda stopped at six.

The good news? My husband is still speaking to me. The puke came off the carpet and out of my hair. And my kids survived. without. me. until after midnight!

That was the best $30 in sitter money we have paid in eons.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Haiku Friday

Mutating laundry
Sort, wash, fold, put away
More to do again?

Washer is a thief
Socks are put in two by two
Return as orphans

Tough week for haiku
No excitement in my life
This will have to do

To find more Haiku, go here.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Mrs. Whiny Pants

My son has stopped sleeping at night.

I mean, he sleeps but he wants to sleep on me. And nurse on demand.

He's big (23.2 lbs., 30 inches) and makes me ache from holding him in a chair. All. Night. Long.

His pediatrician wanted me to wean a month or so ago but I didn't. Now, kinda wishing that I had 'cause this nursing every hour or two stuff is KILLING me. The nurse told me last week at the well visit that he wouldn't sleep through the night until he was weaned.

So, few readers, I need advice. Got any? Should I wean? I'm not opposed to it just dreading the actual doing it 'cause this boy? Yeah, he loves nursing. How did you get your child(ren) to sleep through the night? Or, is it a lost cause and will eventually happen when he is 6 or so?

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Wordless Wednesday: No Worries

Despite the fact it is Wordless Wednesday, I want to thank my readers for their kind and concerned words regarding my post yesterday. I did not mean to cause any alarm but my head was reeling and I needed some time to research and wrap my mind around a few things.

My son has retractile testes, we were told at the doctor visit. This means simply that his testes lie not in his scrotum but in the groin area. I mistook some of the information that the doctor (a wonderful, patient, caring man) gave us and got online with it. That was a mistake. Within minutes, I had diagnosed my son with a more serious form of this condition and envisioned him getting testicular cancer and other horrific things. In short, Toni went overboard and freaked. completely. out. (I am told this is a fairly typical occurrence.)

My wonderful husband tried to calm me. But, being an internet junkie, I couldn't be talked off the ledge until we phoned the doc today and he gave me good, solid AMA advice and then called Nationwide Children's Hospital in Columbus to double check his own action plan. (I told you a great doctor!)

Our plan, approved by the head of Urology at Children's and me, is wait and see. Hopefully, it will resolve itself but, if not, there will be a surgery in the future. The dangers I read about are for a more serious condition where the testes lie in the abdomen and not the groin.

So, from the depths of this drama queen's heart, thank you all for your caring and concern! I puffy heart you all. Big. Time.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008


I was feeling a little sorry for myself as I sat down at my computer this evening. A little tired from a long, cranky weekend which began with a well visit to the pediatrician and immunizations. Ugh. The visit went mostly well. The baby, who isn't such a baby at 23.2 lbs and 30 inches but will always be my baby, is healthy and "precocious", according to the doc. My head swelled and I silently patted myself on the back for raising such a wonderful child who reached for the doctor and blew kisses to the nurse. Yes, that is my child.

The doctor, during his full body exam, pointed something out to us but said not to worry. Yet. There was no cause for alarm. Yet. In the headiness of the back patting and overall love fest that was the doctor visit and then the dreaded and horrid and godawful shots which shot my weekend to hell and back, I didn't focus on the yets.

That came later. And, now, I have thought about those yets. And they are scaring the bejesus out of me. So, I was feeling pretty low when I sat down tonight. Indeed.

Then I went to MamaGeek's place, as always, and saw this. Then here and here. Hmmn. Perhaps the thing I am worried about isn't such an immediate worry after all. 'Cause WhyMommy is having something happen tomorrow that is a big deal now. You see, yet is now for her. So, go send this momma some bloggy love. She really needs it.

Monday, January 21, 2008

It's Sew Easy To Laugh!

This post is for MamaGeek....

I should first say that these pieces of clothing were made for my family by my mother-in-law, with whom my husband and I have a very rocky relationship. My in-laws are not fans of mine. Since our marriage, they have done numerous things to jack with me and my family. Most recently, my husband and his dad (a real bastard) had a blow up on Father's Day and relations are at a two year low. To make a long story short, they have seen my daughter approximately 9 times (she is 8 years old) and my son once (he is 12 1/2 months).

I know some of you will feel that I am making fun of things made for my family with love. This is a woman who has never shown me an ounce of caring or concern. Let me give you an example, when I was being wheeled into my c-section for my daughter, after laboring for 48 hours and not progressing past 4 cm, she shouts (and I mean SHOUTS!) "Doc, don't bring any girls out! We only like boys!" We had known since 18 weeks that I was expecting a girl. She is not a nice person.

Some of the stuff pictured here, out of fairness, is kinda cute. My daughter, though, is pretty particular about her clothing and considers herself something of a fashionista-in-training. Most of it was made without measurements and is poorly sewn, which is hard to demonstrate in this format. The things made for my daughter, I think, were made with a kind heart (that is soooo hard for me to say) because no one is 100% evil, are they?

So, as promised, here they are:

These are "play clothes" she sent for The Conqueror when he was 6 months old. You 're jealous, I know....

This is a Christmas outfit MIL made for Her Highness who made me swear she wouldn't have to wear it. As Tim Gunn would say, "I'm concerned about your taste level."

This is a skirt made of ties for playing dress up.

This is a dress up outfit made for Her Highness. It is hard to appreciate the ugliness with my mediocre camera.

Ah, the robes. This is Lil' Hef kickin' it with so
me Elmo.

This is Her Highness and hers...This one is mine. You know you want it...

And the piece de resistance.... the back of RxMan's robe....

Hope these photos gave you a chuckle on this cold, winter morning!

Toni, out.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Haiku Friday: Paczki

Poonch-key has arrived
A Polish treat before Lent
Jelly-filled doughnut

I'm not Catholic
But will eat the pastry, sure
Teeth aching sweetness

Here are more Haiku Friday posts!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Thursday Thirteen #8: Songs I Listen To Over And Over

  1. "Devil Went Down To Georgia" by Charlie Daniels Band. My then best friend and I would listen to this song every day my senior year of high school to get pumped before class. It still gets my juices flowing (yeah, I have some redneck tendencies).
  2. "Fancy" by Reba McEntire. I used to drink too much and sing this at karaoke when I was much younger. I still crank the radio when it comes on Sirius.
  3. "Jack and Diane" by John (Cougar) Mellancamp. Loved it as a little kid and now it is my ringtone!
  4. "Summer of 69" by Bryan Adams. I have always really liked Bryan Adams, even as a kid just getting into music. This album, Cuts Like A Knife, rocked then and now.
  5. "MMM MMM MMM" by Crash Test Dummies. My little brother and I used to rock out to this song. We didn't see eye to eye on many things and this song makes me think of him.
  6. "Mr. Jones" by Counting Crows. I am a child of the eighties and a late teen of the nineties. I love Counting Crows. Love them.
  7. "If I Had A Million Dollars" by Barenaked Ladies. A chubby Canadian and some silly lyrics about a Plymouth Reliant? What's not to love?
  8. "Me and You" by Kenny Chesney. First dance at my wedding song. 'Nuff said.
  9. "When I Get Where I'm Going" by Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton. It is a song about going to heaven and I just love listening to it.
  10. "Travelin' Soldier" by Dixie Chicks. This song was on the album that came out right around 9/11 and it just touched me. Politics aside, these ladies rock. My daughter, my niece and I always play Dixie Chicks when we are driving around together.
  11. "Buffalo Soldier" by Bob Marley. I know, reggae mixed in with all that country? I said I had redneck tendencies, not that I am a redneck!
  12. "Cowboy Take Me Away" by Dixie Chicks. A love song. Gotta throw one in and this is a great one!
  13. "8th of November" by Big and Rich. These guys are a not usually my style but this is a true story about a battle during Vietnam and it is a fantastic song.
(This is a brief list and so many more could be added, what's one of yours?)

To find more Thursday Thirteens, go here.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Can You Feel The Love?

My friend MamaGeek (formerly known as WorksForMom), gave me two awards and I am pleased as punch to add them to my sidebar. MamaGeek was one of my first regular readers and has been one of my biggest supporters and for that I am terribly grateful. We have gotten to be pretty good bloggin' friends and that is why the Blog Buddies Award means so much to me.

I am passing the Blog Buddies award on to Head Gaggler and Dixie Chick.


And the Fabulous Award is very flattering (*blush*). I appreciate the sentiment and have to pass this one on to Dixie Chick who is the most fabulous mother of four I know and Anglophile Football Fanatic, who seriously wrote the book on fabulousness.

Another big thanks to super blogger MamaGeek for her continued support of this little blog. And, coming soon just for her, a post featuring several of the handmade gifts given to my kids from my MIL. And you thought the robe was funny!

Monday, January 14, 2008

Why Dads Don't Handle The Tough Questions

Several days ago, my Grandpa's girlfriend was turned over to hospice. Her death was eminent and my husband and I decided it was important to share this information with Her Highness before she next saw my grandfather. That day was The Conqueror's birthday party so it was possible "Pappy" might stop in.

It is customary in our household that I handle the touchy subjects. Like Santa. And heaven. And friend trouble. My husband periodically gets it in his head that he has no credibility (he doesn't) with our daughter because he always defers to me when the questions get hairy. Last Saturday, in his opinion, was his time to regain some of this elusive credibility and break the news to Her Highness that Ruth (Pappy's girlfriend) was going to die- and soon.

He was gung-ho and prepared, he assured me. I convinced him to wait until I finished my shower because I was skeptical of his ability. I should say my husband is a wonderful man. (Hi, honey!) He is a great father. He, however, is a sensitive sort who tears up just watching our son bathe. Or our daughter dance. I love him for his tender heart but he is not the kind who can break bad news to someone very well. He. just. can't.

He started off strong by saying "y'know Ruth got really sick the other day and had to go to the hospital." Good job, honey! Keep it up! "Well," he stammers. Uh-oh. "Well," he starts again. "She is even sicker, sweetie, and isn't going to....I mean, she probably won't....well, Ruth may not get better." What?! She isn't going to. They removed her feeding tube. She isn't getting any nourishment. She isn't expected to live through this day. Hell, she may be gone already! "Yeah, Ruth may go to heaven to be with her husband." Our daughter is like, oh, okay. Fine. (Did I mention that RxMan is fighting tears?)

Like her father, Her Highness is a sensitive girl. She cries when I threaten to give the cat away. She cries when I put a note in her lunch box. Her reaction should be much bigger than this. So I say, "Her Highness, Ruth isn't going to get better." She sucks in a big, horrified breath and says, "What?!?! What do you mean?"

Glaring at my husband who is now stroking our little girl's hair and looking guiltily at the floor, I reply, "Ruth is very ill. She isn't going to get better. She is going to die, honey." Well, she melts into a puddle of tears, followed quickly by RxMan 'cause he can't stand to see any of us upset.

After I calmed the two of them down, my husband decided that it was okay to be the fun parent after all. This breaking the bad news and being the heavy isn't all its cracked up to be. And that is why my husband doesn't handle the difficult topics here....

(Ruth did die but not until Wednesday. I'd like to say I will miss her. I won't. She was a hard lady to like. I hope she's in a better place and is at peace. My thoughts and prayers are with those she left behind, including her sons and my grandfather who was truly smitten by her for some reason.)

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Haiku Friday

Rain and thunderstorms
Blowing wind; howling, scary
No sleep for mommy

I hated storms, too
Used to sleep with little bro
How to calm these fears?

To read more Haiku Fridays, go here.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Wordless Wednesday: Too Cute For Words

I'm so glad it is Wordless Wednesday because I am feeling rather wordless thanks to a nagging cold....

Sunday, January 6, 2008


Okay, I am too tired to give you a blow by blow (get it? cake, candles?) of my son's first birthday. Unlike New Year's Day, it was a regular, run of the mill first party for a too! cute! (if I do say so myself) baby (toddler? sniff). The boy got to have cake for the first time. I think he liked it, don't you? It was a good day...


Smash Cake

Flaming! Chocolate! Cake!

Sugar Rush

Friday, January 4, 2008

Haiku Friday: The Stroke of 2008

Scene set: New Year's Day
Grandpa's girlfriend no one likes
Crude, rude and mouthy

Argument ensues
I silently wish her dead
She stands and STROKE hits

I didn't mean it!
Now paralyzed; little hope
Careful what you wish...

Couldn't make this up
Scout's honor, it's the truth! Yep!
Can you believe it?

It is true; I wished my grandfather's not very nice lady friend to die and she almost did within an hour- right in front of most of my family! I, of course, didn't really wish her dead, just to disappear from my sight because of her not very nice-ness. Unfortunately, she is not expected to have a meaningful recovery, if any at all. (It was discovered that she wasn't taking her meds correctly.)

The even more ironic part is we had spent the last few hours talking about nursing homes and assisted care facilities and the way patients are treated there. She had declared that she wasn't ever going to take care of anyone (i.e. my grandfather) and didn't need anyone to care for her. She is (was?) a difficult person to like: bitter, racist, bigoted, unhappy and just plain mean. We never understood why my gramps liked her.

On a lighter note, my mom is kind of angry that the old bird tried to ruin yet another of our family gatherings. She would do anything to get attention.... apparently.

Want to join in?

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Happy Birthday, Baby Boy!

Dearest Conqueror,

Today, we celebrate your first birthday. While a very happy occasion, I am filled with some sadness at what we have left behind. These days you are rarely content to sit quietly in my arms, as you have things to explore and discover. Walking, while such a milestone, has you constantly leaving me instead of coming towards me. I understand that this is all a part of the growth process but, today, I am slightly sad at all that has come and gone so quickly.

I am so in love with your adventurous personality; you are always looking for something new to get into. (Just yesterday, you and the cat shared a yummy snack of Iams cat food.) I appreciate the seemingly innate differences in you and your sister. She was content to sit alone quietly playing at your age, while you are far from quiet or content for long. You are a little boy with much to do and sitting quietly isn't on your agenda. I have few breaks during your wakeful hours as quiet means trouble where you are concerned.

You and I are so close; closer than I have ever been with another, I think. I attribute this to breastfeeding, which did not come easy for us. But, we were diligent, you and I, and succeeded. So successful, in fact, that you refused bottles after 5 months. You are definitely a boy who knows what he wants.

I am astounded at your zeal for food, as your sister was an apathetic eater at best. You love breakfast of scrambled egg and toast. You gobble down almost anything offered, except meat. You have an easy, ready smile that melts my heart and anger in a moment. I delight in your silly laughter and love seeing your sister's eyes when I look into yours.

I look at you today, so big and looking so much like Daddy and I hope that you will become a great man someday. I don't wish for you fame or power, necessarily, but greatness at being a citizen of the world; a conscientious husband and loving, engaged father. These are my hopes for you above all. I want happiness and a less bumpy road of life.

I thank God for sending you to me. You and your sister have given me the greatest joy and challenges that I have ever imagined and you are by far the best things your father and I have ever done. I never thought I had the capacity to love you and your sister with the ferocity that I do. What a lesson in patience and humility parenting has been for me.

Thank you for being my baby.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Wordless Wednesday: 364 Days Ago...

January 3, 2007

The Conqueror
8 lbs. 4 oz.
20.5 inches
2:19 PM

See other Wordless Wednesdays......