Monday, June 18, 2007


Okay, from my previous post you probably gleaned that RxMan and his parents have a shaky relationship at best. Well, yesterday, they pushed it to a whole new level.

RxMan called to wish his dad Happy Father's Day. My husband was angry with them because they came to our county to camp at a local state park at a bad time for us and he was unable to see them. Well, his father was waiting for RxMan to call; he never answers the phone but yesterday answered before the second ring. He basically chewed RxMan up and accused him of always calling their home to fight with them; he said that they were tired of being the bad guys and RxMan being the "victim". He insinuated that I had intentionally kept RxMan and our children away from them. At the end of the horrid conversation that is too nasty and evil (read: evil) to write, he wished my husband a "happy life" and hung up.

I was shocked; surely, they did not just wash their hands of my husband!? So, I called back. Not to fight- honestly. To try to reason with them that despite their dislike of me, it wasn't worth not having anything to do with RxMan. It did not go well. You will be proud of me, though, I did not swear or yell. I tried to keep my cool and did not speak in any mean way to the man who is legally my FIL but for all accounts and purposes is a big, terrible jerk: the Antichrist's brother. He outright said that I had kept my husband and children away from them and he did not care to hear one thing I said. He turned the fact that he and his wife hadn't seen our now seven year old daughter from the time she was 4 months old until she was 5 1/2 years old around on us. He rewrote history by saying all Her Highness's birthday parties had been on Sundays intentionally so they could not come because he worked Sunday nights. There was a whole lotta lying going on. My call was fruitless, except for the fact that he finally admitted that they did not like me although they "love me because RxMan does". What?!?!?!

So, my dear husband is without parents. They have written him off. Personally, I think he is better off because they only used and abused him for the ten years that I have been in his life; however, they are the only parents he has known. He loves them and really wanted to share his life and family with them but they cannot have a relationship with anyone who does not do exactly as they (namely, his dad) wish. He is such a good man and my heart aches for his loss. He, though, has seen it coming and was able to get many things off of his chest that have been bugging him for years. RxMan is taking this very well, likely because they have been so absent in our lives since we were married over 9 years ago.

Thankfully, my immediate and extended family love my husband (more than me, most of the time). We have wonderful friends who have been filling the void left by his folks for many years and that will undoubtedly continue. I am vowing here and now that I will not be the MIL that I have had. Please keep me honest to this oath....

1 comment:

Allie said...

Oh, we have had this conversation many a time. I completely hate that this happened. They are not worthy of being in his life. I know it's easy to say that it is their loss and he is much better off (both of which are true). RxMan is a beautiful person and a wonderful husband and father. I hope he knows that those of us that really know him adore him to pieces. P.S. Good going on the phone calls. I am proud.