Monday, September 24, 2007

Marriage is Tough

That is something that they forget to tell a young couple during pre-marital counseling but it's true. It is hard. Really hard sometimes. Of course, the counseling that RxMan and I had lasted all of 45 minutes and consisted of a little financial lecture, a reminder to use birth control and 30 minutes of discussing wedding minutiae. So, no, there was little talk of how irritating it can be to live with another person who is different than you.

Now, don't worry, friends. RxMan and I are not headed to Judge Wapner's courtroom. We are just having a rough patch, as he says. He is stressing because of crap at the evil empire and I am stressed from this boy child of ours who is apparently teething again. So, we take our frustrations out on one another. I bite his head off with remarks like, "If you had a brain, you'd..." or "I'm tired of being a single parent!" He, then, reciprocates with some other disparaging remarks and it's on. This happens, more often than not, in the wee hours of the morning when The Conqueror decides it is time to wake up and wave at the junk on the walls.

No one warns you how irritating this person whom you love can be once you live with them for nine years. (Okay, okay, ten. We lived in sin for a year. Or more.) RxMan snores. Really. Really. Loud. Really. He doesn't do anything the easy way. He can't remember anything. But, he is an excellent cook, helps out around the house and is a wonderful daddy. And he always puts the seat down! Sometimes, though, it is really hard to remember those good things when I am tired and frustrated. And, believe me, I know I am no ball of sunshine to live with. I am disorganized. I am critical. I am messy. And, I know these things are equally irritating to him. Heck, they're irritating to me!

I just feel like couples should be reminded that marriage isn't always romance, sex and happiness. Sometimes it is fighting over money (or lack thereof!), arguing over the laundry, or mowing the lawn. I don't feel I was sold a bad bill of goods, though, by any stretch. I feel very blessed to have married the greatest guy I know and will fight tooth and nail to save my marriage in the event that it is in jeopardy.

So, I am going to try to remember that I need to be more aware of what I am saying. Even at 4:30 in the morning. I am going to try to not get frustrated with his short-temperedness because 98% of that is because of a couple idiots that he works with and the company in general.

You see, even though I think marriage is difficult. It is a good difficult. It is having someone to watch movies with on a Friday evening in your mismatched, ripped pjs. It is having someone to share two beautiful children with. It is knowing that if you are sad, he'll be sad, too. Marriage is the hardest and best thing I have ever done and I owe it to myself, RxMan and my children to work harder at it than I have been.

1 comment:

MamaMichelsBabies said...

It is indeed the hardest thing.. and you summed it up quite well when you said it's the hardest and berst thing you've ever done.

Big Ug snores as well.. we got it worked out to a science though around here, he stays up and watches cartoons until he knows I am asleep, then he goes to sleep. That or I bop him one ;)

The great patches far outweigh the rough patches though. And the rough patches don't last long at all in the bigger scheme of things, just keep telling yourself that.

I hope it gets better for both of you.