Monday, April 28, 2008

Mother In Law Day

One of my favorite moms and mom bloggers, MamaGeek, reminded me this morning that Mother's Day is nearly upon us. Ugh. You know what that means? I have to send something to my husband's mother. Ugh.

I don't hate Mother's Day. I am a mom and like the freakish things that my kid makes at school and my husband is a great gift giver and I get nice things. (Aside: does anyone out there still not think of Mother's Day as a holiday for YOU? When I think of Mother's Day, I still think of my mom and about making her day special not how good my day will/will not be. Am I alone or just crazy?) I love to buy stuff for my mom, too.

But, then there is the MIL from Hell. Really! She drives a broom and everything. *snickering evilly* This is the woman who made my family (me, husband, two kids) robes. Yep. Homemade robes. (if you're new here, it really is worth the clicks. Seriously.) She gives Tweety Bird Chia Pets for gifts, as well as pendant necklaces with the wrong letter.

She and her husband (otherwise known as Antichrist; heard of him?) haven't seen my almost sixteen month old son since he was 2 weeks. Did I mention she's not a fan of me? Or my husband? Or my kids?

But, because I think it is important that she not be able to say to the rest of their family that we don't acknowledge them at holidays, I send something. I try to send nice things because the crap she sends here? It goes to that special place in the landfill for the worst gifts ever (not really. Usually Goodwill.). So, it is upon me again. Ugh.

I have taken to sending gift cards to department stores for two reasons. One, obviously, super easy! No thought! No postage! And, two, she loathes gift cards. And I mean loathes. Like, she makes passive aggressive remarks in her letters about gift cards are "gifts without thought" and "who wants to receive gift cards?"

And, do you know how hard it is to find a Mother's Day card that isn't gushy? One that doesn't drip with Hallmark sentiment and forced affection? I have actually printed off generic cards on my printer before because I was unable to find one with the appropriate lack of warmth. I have, by golly.

So, I've been thinking. Perhaps we should start a new holiday. One for those of us who must deal with women who raised our wonderful husbands but drive brooms and are employed by and/or are married to Satan. This day could be a day where we really get to say and do all of those things we hold back in deference to the men in our lives. I could tell my MIL she's ugly. I could tell her to quit referring to herself as Grandma to my children in the cards she mails because she is not worthy of the title. I could show her this blog!

So, whaddaya say? Are you in?

7 comments:

Head Gaggler said...

Can I say this? Even though I am a mom I hate this holiday. I so don't know what to buy them ever! Oh and mother's day cards are the worst. Good luck!

Suzanne said...

Tone, OMG YOU KNOW I hate this holiday. Fortunately my MIL is no longer on my radar and therefore receives gifts from me no longer. I guess the thing is she, too, drives a broom - the SS version. But her son also carries a pitchfork. (Not really, I guess, but that sounded good) Anyway, go for the giftcard. You KNOW you want to! It truly is the only gift she can't take back, return or complain about... And still lavish awesome stuff on your mom. She rocks! And that's the real fun of it!

MamaGeek said...

COUNT. ME. IN.

We need a badge or something? My MIL acts like the holiday is her and hers alone. Let us bow down and barf.

If you want that atrocity on my site, it's yours!

Life As I Know It said...

I'm in!

I usually send my mom a flowering plant every year. Boring!

gina said...

The best idea ever and I can only say that here because I think my MIL reads my blog. Which is funny that she has time to do that when she has managed to visit my kids all of oh maybe 10 times in 6 years. Although I shouldn't complain they are better off that way! ps. I just got my MIL a MD card at Kay's Jewelers- it was three bucks the money goes to St. jude's and it was NON mushy!!

DIXIECHICK said...

I have the perfect solution for your mother in law...reserve her a spot in hell...here is the link..
http://reserveaspotinhell.com/...hilarious!

kristi said...

BLECH.....ugh........and I thought my MIL was horrid.