Thursday, July 19, 2007

Do you ever wonder what if...?

On Monday evening, my mother gave me a copy of an advertisement that my high school boyfriend (now a Chiropractor) had mailed out. It was a full-sized sheet of paper, front and back, detailing some crazy new back crackin' machine that he has at his office. Included in this were glowing recommendations from patients who can now walk pain free, etc. (Okay, is this machine Jesus or something?) There was also a picture of former boyfriend working said machine. Okay, here's the thing.

HE'S BALDING.

Am I really old enough to have a former flame who is balding? Surely not. The picture was very poor quality and grainy but it was obvious that Dr. Boyfriend islosinghishair and rightquick. So, I chuckled and pointed with my mother; saved the ad for my friend who lives in Toledo to see and thought nothing else of it.

Until I went to sleep. Isn't it strange how your mind works? I was sleeping along, minding my own business when WHAM! Dr. Boyfriend shows up in my freakin' dream. Now, I don't know about you but I dream in living, vibrant color. RxMan's new Sony LCD has nothing on the real-life, 3-D quality of my dreams.

Get your head out of the gutter, though. There was nothing beyond G ratings in my dream; we were back in high school in class and a myriad of other old faces show up. It was a nice little reunion- now I don't have to go to my 15th (gasp!) next summer. So, very soon, The Conqueror wails out and my sleep is interrupted. However, a seed was planted.

A few times yesterday, I found myself remembering my dream and the inevitable question arose: What if? What if he and I were married now? My gut reaction? (After the vomiting.) It would have been a disaster; see, Dr. and I were not nice to each other. In high school, I liked him but was embarrassed by his dorkiness. And the fact he thought he was Batman. No, really. He did. Think. He. Was. Batman. (do you get why it didn't work out?) So, I ignored him. And taunted him. And did kinda mean things to him. Like make fun of him for saying he loved me. As I said, not very nice.

Then I broke up with him and (you know how this goes), suddenly, I wished I hadn't. Thus began an infatuation that lasted the better part of the next 2 or 3 years. We went off to college and remained friends. We visited each other occasionally and all was innocent until the kegs were tapped. He led me on and I fell for it. Over and over. And over. Again. He told me on several occasions that he was crappy to me because of my treatment of him back in high school. Still, I hoped.

Finally, I got tired of giving him advice about other girls and got on with life. Always, though, there was that smallest little inkling of hope and affection. Maybe someday, right???

Well, as you know, life took a different turn for me. I met RxMan and, as is said, the rest is history. So, what if.... I am perfectly content with my life as it is. I have a great husband in the RxMan and two rotten, wonderful kiddos, too.

As Garth Brooks sang, "Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers...."

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