On the Cusp

Today Claire starts third grade.

Last night as I thought about writing this post, I thought it would be all, "YAY! The kids are back in school!" And, it is; oh, my GAWD it is.

But, it is also something more.

Third grade, for me, was the last year I went to school without a bra. It was the last year the boys and girls played together easily and without any concern for the fact that they are biologically "different".

As I have seen her several times over these last few months in a bathing suit and various states of dress and undress, I realized that she, Lord help me, is on the brink of puberty. Her little body is starting to just look different- not like Pam Anderson, mind you, just different. I believe that she, poor thing, will likely start fourth grade with a trainer's bra, just like her ol' mommy did.

Her attitude has changed, too. She is becoming more obstinate and opinionated with me- only me. She questions me directly when I make rules or rulings she doesn't like. She is entering that stage where her parents (or at least her mom) are essentially there to make life totally blow for her and are the dumbest and uncoolest creatures in the entire! universe! She's not there just yet, but the winds are changing, my friends. My little angel is about to see me as Pulic Enemy Numero Uno in a few short years.

And, the drama that has ensued in this neighborhood of three 8-year old girls this summer! Oh, the tears! The disappointments! The wrongdoings! Three little people who used to be sweet, giggling buddies often part now in sobs and hurt feelings. See, I told you, the estrogen is revving up.

So, as I stuff her pink and brown plaid backpack, still smelling of newness, with medical emergency slips and checks for lunch and school fees this perfect, humid morning, I do so with a bit of heaviness clouding the pure joy that the first day of school brings to parents.

My baby is growing up.


I hope to share photos of this momentous day but my camera, once lost, has been found. But, it is 150 miles from home. I hope my neighbor will be kind enough to email photos that I can upload to you, otherwise I am going old school today....

Haiku Baby Hair

Check out this boy's hair!
Sticking straight up, straggly, long
Time for first haircut



Why do I feel so
sad? Another goodbye to
baby days, my last

No chullets here but still time for a first haircut, nonetheless. My neighbor, a stylist, has been recommending it for a few months but I ignored her until this week. The hair? Well, it is getting crazy and just looks badly. *sigh* With The Conqueror being more than likely my last, this is another milestone that I was dreading; another farewell to babyhood. I relished all of these little milestones with my daughter; looked forward to them. Not this time around; although the recent sleeping through the night has been wonderful....

Haiku Did That Happen?

My boy was fifteen
months yesterday! How is that?
Where'd my baby go?

He walks, runs and shrieks
He climbs and jumps like a champ
I swear he's cursing

A year ago I
wished for him to grow
but not now! Please stop!

Nursing is over
So many milestones
Now he's a toddler )-:

Read more Haiku Friday posts.

Haiku-versary

A decade ago
Dressed in champagne silk, black tux
We pledged our love

This love has blossomed,
Grown with each passing challenge
Knit us together

We are connected
by law, God's eyes, our children
For now, forever

Thursday Thirteen #14: Anniversary Edition

Friday, March 7th is my 10th wedding anniversary.
Here is a list of 13 things I like about being married.

• Having a built-in date for functions.
  
• Having someone to kill the bugs.
  
• Having someone to mow the lawn.
  
• Having someone to sleep with.
  
• I tell my husband all the time this is why I stay married to him. I love having another person in my bed. Unfortunately, this one snores really, really loud...
• Designated driver!
• Someone to cook.
  
• I am not a cook. Fortunately, my husband is!
• Someone to set the clock on the electronics.
  
• Someone to keep me grounded.
  
• I am a spaz and a drama queen. I worry like crazy about stupid things. My husband is very easy going and keeps me sane.
  
• Someone to deal with the stuff I don't want to.
  
• Like contractors and repairmen; I hate calling these kinds of people and having to talk to them.
  
• Someone to laugh at my blog, even when it isn't funny.
  
• A shoulder to lean into and cry on.
  
• A hand to hold during good and bad times.
  
• Someone who loved me in a wedding dress and still loves me in my mismatched, threadbare pajamas, with morning breath and Medusa hair.
  

Of course, the silly ones are meant to be silly but the truth is I am blessed with a wonderful partner. Truly blessed.

Num-nums!

Okay, I am too tired to give you a blow by blow (get it? cake, candles?) of my son's first birthday. Unlike New Year's Day, it was a regular, run of the mill first party for a too! cute! (if I do say so myself) baby (toddler? sniff). The boy got to have cake for the first time. I think he liked it, don't you? It was a good day...

Cake

Smash Cake

Flaming! Chocolate! Cake!

Sugar Rush

Happy Birthday, Baby Boy!

Dearest Conqueror,

Today, we celebrate your first birthday. While a very happy occasion, I am filled with some sadness at what we have left behind. These days you are rarely content to sit quietly in my arms, as you have things to explore and discover. Walking, while such a milestone, has you constantly leaving me instead of coming towards me. I understand that this is all a part of the growth process but, today, I am slightly sad at all that has come and gone so quickly.

I am so in love with your adventurous personality; you are always looking for something new to get into. (Just yesterday, you and the cat shared a yummy snack of Iams cat food.) I appreciate the seemingly innate differences in you and your sister. She was content to sit alone quietly playing at your age, while you are far from quiet or content for long. You are a little boy with much to do and sitting quietly isn't on your agenda. I have few breaks during your wakeful hours as quiet means trouble where you are concerned.

You and I are so close; closer than I have ever been with another, I think. I attribute this to breastfeeding, which did not come easy for us. But, we were diligent, you and I, and succeeded. So successful, in fact, that you refused bottles after 5 months. You are definitely a boy who knows what he wants.

I am astounded at your zeal for food, as your sister was an apathetic eater at best. You love breakfast of scrambled egg and toast. You gobble down almost anything offered, except meat. You have an easy, ready smile that melts my heart and anger in a moment. I delight in your silly laughter and love seeing your sister's eyes when I look into yours.

I look at you today, so big and looking so much like Daddy and I hope that you will become a great man someday. I don't wish for you fame or power, necessarily, but greatness at being a citizen of the world; a conscientious husband and loving, engaged father. These are my hopes for you above all. I want happiness and a less bumpy road of life.

I thank God for sending you to me. You and your sister have given me the greatest joy and challenges that I have ever imagined and you are by far the best things your father and I have ever done. I never thought I had the capacity to love you and your sister with the ferocity that I do. What a lesson in patience and humility parenting has been for me.

Thank you for being my baby.

Ten Months Old!

Today, my boy, The Conqueror is ten months old!

In some ways it seems like he has been a part of my life forever. He has melded into the fabric of this little family so well that it is hard to even imagine our lives before him. For months, I would still forget, for just the eensiest second, that we even had him. Like when signing a card, I would automatically sign RxMan, Toni and Her Highness. I didn't even stop to consider writing his name, too.

Now, though, he has managed to stake his part in the family. He is the earliest of the early risers. The boy rarely, if ever, sleeps past 5:30am. RxMan and I used to bemoan Her Highness's waking at 6:45 on non-school days. Now, 6:45 seems like heaven. He is loud, too, and difficult to ignore (much like his father). He worships his sister and has begun to say something that sounds a lot like her name when she enters or leaves a room.

The kid is a waving fool. He loves, loves, loves to wave. A special greeting is the two handed wave which is reserved for only the most special of people (ME!). He pulls himself up and is trolling around furniture and walls and walking with his walk behind. He eats well and loves his veggies. He has six teeth, as of bedtime. He bites. Hard.

Everyday I am amazed at what he is picking up; he is truly a sponge. I am also amazed at the way in which he interacts with my daughter. That is truly one of the greatest joys of having him; seeing Her Highness be a big sister. She was destined for the role and the mutual affection is immeasurable. Seeing them together makes me feel like all of the difficult days (nights!) are worth it.

So, I am feeling a little weepy today. I would hit pause on the remote control of life if possible and keep him at this age. He is still a baby but I watch the baby ease more into the body of a toddler each day as he acquires new skills and grows. He doesn't want to be held for snuggling much any more; those days have passed. But, he has begun to do something that is a pseudo-kiss where he opens his mouth wide and lays it on your cheek and if you move at the right time, you don't get bitten. He also has started laying his head on you and saying, "ahhhh." We have decided this is giving "lovies".

It is always a give and take in parenting, I know. He learns a new skill and moves slightly more away. It is my job to raise him, I realize, but I had forgotten how painful even these little letting go's can be.