Love Is In The Air...

Can't you just here the theme from "Love Boat" now...

blah, blah, exciting and new...THE LOVE BOAT...

Okay, so I can't remember all of the song but I was just a wee little girl when this show was on; I remember liking Jill and thinking how pretty she was.

But I digress...

Long before my husband and I decided to have kids, we were newly in love and celebrating our first Valentine's Day. I had to work but my then-boyfriend did not.

When I arrived at his apartment, he was playing my favorite song "One Fine Day" (the Natalie Merchant version) and the lights were dimmed. When I walked in, he had written I Heart (okay, the shape, not the word) U in hugs and kisses on his coffee table; there were flowers and a gift bag full of my favorite bath and body products. Then he made dinner (that I hated but ate every bite).

To this day, that has been the sweetest thing he has ever done for me.

Twelve years later we celebrate Valentine's Day with our two kids. We snuck out for two hours last evening to catch an early (4pm) dinner and a quick run through the mall before picking them up at 6:30. While I love my life now, I will always fondly look back at that first Valentine's Day when everything was "exciting and new...."

Hope you get your heart's desires this Valentine's Day!

Complete

Today has been on my mind for a few weeks.

I had an appointment with the OB-GYN today (no, I am NOT pregnant, in case you were wondering). An appointment I have been worrying over and dreading and considering canceling.

This appointment was to have a Mirena placed.

I have been stewing over this appointment because I was afraid it would hurt. I was afraid my uterus was weakened by 2 c-sections and would tear, resulting in an immediate and emergency hysterectomy.

I also was afraid of what I would feel like after it was done. This decision sort of signaled to me that I am done bearing children and even though I knew this was the right decision for me I still didn't know how it would feel, you know?

Before my son was born I always left the door open to more children. When I looked at babies, my arms and uterus ached. I picked out names. I browsed the baby section. I knew I wasn't done.

But, after his birth I felt like I didn't want to do it again- the pregnant thing. I am not pretty; nor do I glow during pregnancy. I just get swollen and sweat. And puke!

Still, though...

I didn't want to close the door completely. I couldn't. I feel good that I went through with it. I feel a sense of relief that I didn't expect to: I am safe from pregnancy for at least 5 years (well, I will be in a month). Instead of feeling sad about that, I find that I am feeling, well, free.

I have a gorgeous son and a beautiful daughter. This didn't make the possibility of another child gone forever just a little more difficult to achieve.

And it totally didn't hurt as bad as I expected. And, that is ALWAYS a good thing.

So, tell me something new with you....

I Suck!

I am the worst blogger in the world. It is no wonder nobody reads this; I never post with any regularity. I could make excuses: my grandmother from NC was in town, The Conqueror is not sleeping again, school work, etc. I will not, however. The main reason I haven't blogged (well, besides the reasons mentioned before) is I am not always convinced that my life is exciting enough to share on the world wide web, unlike my friend Allie, whose life is very, very interesting right now.

I live a fairly boring existence. I get up in the morning and take care of Her Highness and The Conqueror until evening when we go to bed. Occasionally, there is a trip to the Mall or Wal-Mart or (yikes!) Starbucks in there but my days are mundane. I think, though, this is pretty common for those of us muddling through the early days of babydom. RxMan and I are of the school of thought that our children (right now that means The Conqueror) and their schedules dictate our lives.

In other words, if The Conqueror is tired, we stay home. If he is fussy? We stay home. Happy? We stay home because that could change at anygivensecond. Seeing a pattern here? It is a lonely existence in many ways. Her Highness has her friends to visit with and really doesn't mind the fact that we go nowhere because she has free reign (get it?) of the neighborhood. RxMan goes to work (for 12 hour shifts again. Ugh!). And I am here. Alone. Many, many hours a day. Alone.

At least this time I have my school work. When Her Highness was born, I was a full time stay at home mom. No hobbies to speak of. No internet knowledge. No neighbors. But a nice case of postpartum depression that kept me pretty good company. Thankfully this time, I am not battling so fiercely with PPD. I'm not sure why but things are better the second time around- at least for me.

No, things aren't perfect. I still wait for RxMan to come home at night and chew him out simply because I had a rotten day. I still dream about hitting the Powerball and having a nanny or manny like Britney Spears (don't you have to play to win, though? sigh).

There is not a lot of drama in my neck of the woods. Unless Her Highness has a spat with another Princess. Or RxMan's crazy boss does something even more stupid than usual. Or The Conqueror gets another tooth. He did! On Friday morning he awoke with his second tooth.

So, for those of you who do read, I apologize for the boring nature of this post.