Wednesday, October 1, 2008

What Was I Thinking?

I have always tried to keep the attitude that being a SAHM is a gift that many others would LOVE to have and that I am lucky to be able to stay home with my children.

Well, for the last few days, I would like to return that gift.

My little monster darling Liam has been a terror. He has been constantly tormenting the cat by throwing toys (small and large) at her and running full steam at her just to watch her jump out of her fur and scurry away. These things delight him.

He has also taken to undressing. Apparently going commando is all the rage amongst the toddler set. He shrieks. He cries. He stands at the door shrieking and crying and demanding to be taken outside immediately- do not pass go, do not collect $200 or go pee!

The icing on my cake of crap was last evening when I had just gotten most of his dinner cut into bite sized pieces and put on his plate. I turned for a nano second to grab a spoon and he grabbed his plate and flung it onto the floor.

Chernobyl happened again in my kitchen and I was ground zero because this mom had had. enough. I shrieked. I nearly cried. I demanded that he get into his high chair and I left the room. I left the food on the floor and Claire standing there agape. I went into the bathroom and sat there for a couple minutes because I wanted to kill someone.

Of course, I didn't kill him. Or myself. Or anyone else. But, oh God, I wanted to for just a brief few moments.

This gig is hard. It is exhausting. It is 24/7 and sometimes it sucks big time. Moms don't get a break to watch House or read a Jodi Piccoult novel. Nope. We have to wipe bottoms and hands and mouths. We have to clean up crap and puke and listen to whining and crying.

Sometimes I wonder what the hell I was thinking when I signed up to do this.

Don't you??


wright said...

I wish it were all smiles and candy, but it sure isn't! Parenting (and especially being a SAHM) is so much harder than anyone told me!

MamaGeek @ Works For Us said...

Yeah, I know, it's REALLLLY hard work. REALLY. HARD. And Liam sounds like he is just prepping you for the teen years already (oh good God, eh?). May I suggest meeting at drink-thirty? :) said...

At least once a day I feel that way. And, then a smile or a giggle makes it all disappear and it's perfect again.

Missy said...

I definitely feel that way a lot. There is only so much insanity that you can take, you know??
I have to remind myself, like you said, that there are a ton of people out there who would love to be a SAHM. So, enjoy it, right? :)
Hang in there...

AirmanMom said...

Trust me when I say...they DO grow up and they DO move away! I am the proud mom of four..I spent countless years exhaustion, I never imagined one body could tolerate so little sleep.
As zany as it sounds...enjoy it! You did the right thing, giving yourself a time-out...I had oodles of them over the years.
Now, I am an empty-nester. I am blessed with two grandgirls and another on the way...
Being a SAHM is by no means glamorous and it feels as though there is not much appreciation most days. One day many years from now, when you see your daughter with her will all be worth it.
Stay strong!
Pray Hard!

~AirmanMom returning to her blog...

Dana said...

I get to experience those on my days of work.
Some days I am glad to go back to work the next day and some days I wish I didn't have to.
Enjoy it, I rather stay home.