Still

The rocking chair squeaks as Liam and I settle in. He wiggles and jabbers. I sigh, thankful the day is nearly done.

Clutching his satin baby blue blankie, he settles in with his head on my chest. His hair, still slightly damp, smells of Aveeno baby wash. His jammies smell of Dreft and allow me to believe he is still small, although he is far from that these days.

A toddler- a little boy- now cozies into this spot once occupied by a baby. I marvel at how his fingers, once so tiny and chubby, now grasp the snagged satin with startling strength. His legs now dangle to my knees.

Each day, he grows. And each day, he learns something new. And I must bid goodbye to the baby that has grown into a little guy who shouts "Mama" at 5AM.

As his long- so long- lashes dip sleepily onto his soft, pale cheeks, I cannot resist and allow myself to kiss that tiny mouth. He smiles and chatters momentarily, then drifts into slumber.

These moments of quiet, of calmness, come less often all the time. He needs to run! to jump! to climb! Sleep is less elusive than before and I linger like this, holding onto him and drink in the smells, the sight and the sounds of my little boy who was once, not so long ago, my baby.