Friday, September 5, 2008

A Birthday Post


My husband was adopted.

His mother relinquished her parental rights to him just hours after he was born 36 years ago today.

He was placed into the foster care system for about three weeks and, then, went to live with the people who raised him: his mom and dad.

His biological mother was 18 or 19 and had black hair, as does my husband. We know a few things about her like this from "non-identifying" information that the state of Ohio allows adoptees access to. His father was a brick mason, as was his father, and was 23 years old. They lived in a town in northwestern Ohio that neighbors where my husband was raised.

It haunts me that out there, somewhere, is a family that my husband never met. He could have brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews. There may be oodles of aunts and uncles who share the same black hair and dimpled right cheek that he and my son have.

His childhood was good. His parents loved and cared for him. He traveled and played an instrument in the band. He has no burning innate desire to seek out this unknown family.

I do, though. I would like to hug the woman who birthed my husband. I would like to her to see him and know that he did okay. I would like her to know that she made a good choice because she did.
She really did.

I would like to tell her that on this day, his birthday, he is happy and surrounded by those that love him. I would like to tell her that he is loved and holds no ill will for her, although his feelings towards her are so confusing and muddled.

So, on this day, which is a happy day in our household, I always find myself wondering what that woman, once a young girl, must feel. My heart aches a little for her and the loss that she probably feels on this day.

Thank you to the woman who chose to bring my husband into this world and make a choice to provide him with a life and home that she was unable to. I would like to thank her for her unselfish and brave actions.

May this "birth-day" be just a little sweeter for her.....




Happy Birthday, RxMan!


8 comments:

Missy said...

Happy birthday to RxMan!

Life As I Know It said...

I can't imagine what his birth mother must feel each year on his birthday. What a wonderful post - Happy Birthday to your husband! It's a good birth date to have - it's my birthday today too!

Head Gaggler said...

Happy Birthday!!

Dana said...

Happy Birthday Medicine man!

wright said...

Happy Birthday, RxMan!!! Hope it is filled with laughter and love!

MamaGeek said...

Happy Birthday RXman! Get this, it's Sam's birthday today too.

*play voodoo music*

Lovely tribute my friend.

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

Happy birthday! I hope the vacation is going okay.

Karen of Sillymonkeez said...

That was such a great post! I can't even begin to imagine what your husband feels or what his birthmom feels on his birthday. If only she could read your post.

Well, maybe someone else who had to make the same difficult decision to give up a child will read this post and you will have made them feel better about it.

Karen of the MomDot Street Team
www.MomDot.com