Monday, March 17, 2008

When Did I Become THAT Mom?

A few weeks ago, before the sickness roosted in my home, I was at the grocery with The Conqueror. That is always a scary experience because the kid is unpredictable. Some days it goes off without a hitch. Others, well, I run cowering from the store clutching my screaming boy.

So, going to the grocery has become Operation Get It Done Quick. My husband typically goes to the store alone because, well, he cooks and I reheat. So...it makes good sense for him to do the shopping. For some reason, though, this day we went together. And took the boy.

So, things were going well. We got cocky. We had been through the entire store (at Mach speed, mind you) and were left only in the cold section (milk, eggs, cheese, etc.). We slowed down. Big mistake, as you probably guessed.

At first, the kid was just whimpering a little as we debated on what brand of butter. As we perused the yogurt section for just a little too long, his whining increased by several decibels. Then he began full out screaming. He wanted out of that cart and NOW!

Well, I may be dumb but I ain't stupid and there was no way that wild child was being let down in the middle of a grocery store because, well, I have to go back there. So, I start offering him anything (ANYTHING!!) to shut him up because I hate, hate, hate being that person in the store with the wailing kid.

What does he want? A yogurt cup. Fine. Phew, crisis averted. Until the little rat gnaws through the foil lid and is trying to drink the yogurt. I take it away.

He screams as if I have just cut one of his digits off.

With a dull knife.

I give him back the yogurt.

He is happy. For a sec.

Then he starts shouting "Yum, yummmy!"

So, what do I do? I dig into my diaper bag and get a spoon. I proceed to stand in the middle of the grocery store and feed my child an unpaid-for Dannon.

I am so THAT mom.

(And, yes, I did pay for the yogurt that he ate.)

18 comments:

Jenni said...

For every thing (turn, turn, turn)
there is a season (turn, turn, turn)

A time for bribes
A time for pleading
A time for giving ANYTHING...


We've all been there, sister.

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

I get it. We have our grocery store moments, too. And, it's very acceptable to be THAT mom once in a while.

Bradley's Mom said...

I love this story, and I can picture it clearly, as I have lived it too!

Children..........gotta love 'em.

Linda

DIXIECHICK said...

Honey, I have done it too,..I can't tell you the number of times, I have opened up a package of something, anything....so that one or the other of my wailing boys, have had something to stuff in their mouths..because, if they are eating, they aren't screaming...yes, I always pay for it too...but, it works....gives you that brief reprieve to get checked out and get out.

suchsimplepleasures said...

i'm a firm believer in bribery!! if it works, then why not!!??
and...i'm so THAT mom, too!! my 4 y/o, whenever i have to take him to the grocery store with me...demands DEMANDS string cheese. and, i figure, if it shuts him up long enough to go through the grocery store...i'm good with that!!
xoxo

Marie said...

Hey...a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do!

MamaGeek said...

Dude. I'm there. EVERY WEEK.

Here's a tactic I have learned the hard way. When we first get there I grab a can of soup and hide it in the cart until he futzes. Then I bring out the soup can to divert one of the 32 crises we will undoubtedly incur!

Hope all is well T - LOVED your boob story. :)

Kellan said...

I am so THAT MOM too - been there and done that many a time - grapes, chocolate milk, candy - anything to get them to be quiet in the grocery story - it works like magic!

Cute post!

Have a good day - Kellan

Missy said...

I think that everyone has done this! I have! Although lately, I have no problem walking through the store with a crying baby, me acting as though nothing is wrong - got to get the grocery shopping done, crying baby or not!

Nap Warden said...

I say whatever it takes Mom...no judging here:)

Robin said...

Wow - you had a SPOON in your bag? You are one prepared Momma!

Christina said...

You have lived up to the mama mantra: Do what works.

I'm amazed that you already had the spoon, though! You're like MacGyver prepared!

Life As I Know It said...

We've all been that mom!
I've become the mom who asks for slice of cheese for the 3 year old at the deli counter. Sigh.

I think the lesson learned is to have your husband do all the grocery shopping from now on ;)

Melissa said...

I was impressed with the spoon, too.

We've all been there. :)

Kellan said...

Hi Toni - thanks for coming by today. Hope you all are doing okay - see you soon. Kellan

MamaMichelsBabies said...

Been there, done that... did it today in fact.

Your not that Mom.. that Mom was at the mall today letting her 4 or so demon spawn follow her around kicking her HARD in the ankles while she kept shopping telling him in this nauseating high pitched voice "Stop that hunny, that hurts Mommy" to which he laughed and kicked her harder.

Bless Boom, she said loud enough for both the kid and the woman to hear "Mama, you'd kill us for that wouldn't you!" looking at that kid with eyes as big as moons.

And I so would have made one of mine wish they hadn't been created for something like that.

Nope... your not that mom.

Janet said...

I might have a spoon in the bottom of my purse; I'm afraid to look down there. ;)

I always let the toddler eat unpaid for stuff while I shop. I'm good for it. Sheesh.

CC said...

hee hee hee!!!