Monday, March 24, 2008

Boys Will Be Boys...I Guess.

Well, I did yet another of those parenting things over the weekend that I vowed I would never do. The "Easter Bunny" dropped one of these off with my son's Easter loot.

Yes, not only am I the mom who spoon feeds her kid yogurt in the grocery, I am now also the mother who has so little control over her child that she resorts to leashing him like a dog.

I'm so proud.

Before I had the human baby that is a BOY, I never dreamt that I would ever have to use one of these devices to corral my child. But, this little person? He is completely different than the first one I gave birth to (i.e. a GIRL).

Now, I am completely schooled in the gendered way in which we rear our children. I know that by giving my daughter a pink kitty that I am teaching her stereotypical "girl" behavior. I also know that when my son came out of my womb (c-section), he wasn't like her. He had some exterior parts that she didn't and he was DIFFERENT.

I was forced to put aside all of my pre-conceived parenting notions about raising a child (i.e. a GIRL) and start. completely. over.

He is rougher than she is. He bites for fun. He climbs things she didn't even notice. He is more adventurous and driven. So, perhaps I added to his being a "boy" rather than gender neutral by dressing him in navy clothes emblazoned with trucks and dogs but the kid was just. born. different.

And no scientist, sociologist or anyone else will be able to convince me otherwise.

I may not even use the harness. I have very mixed feelings on it, truthfully. My son, though, sees strollers and wagons that aren't moving at a steady clip as something to climb out of instead of sit in. He is a man on the move who needs to be going at all times.

So, when you see someone who harnesses their child, please don't look at them with one of those looks (you know the look). That person may not just be a crappy parent; she may just be doing what she has to to keep the kid from running in front of a Greyhound.


MamaGeek said...

First of all, I'd never give YOU that look. Secondly, I just saw that very thing at Targhetto and was mesmerized by the very thought. I so get THAT.

I think the younger generation gets that, but can you imagine what your MIL would say? BWAHAHAHA! Hee. larious.

Kristin.... said...

Oh the gender differences are HUGE between boys and girls (I have 1 boy; 3 girls). My son (age 3) was born to torture me, I'm certain. Draw on the wall; check. climb on toys to tear apart the bookcase; check. The list goes on and on. It's enough to make a sane person (or one who pretends to be sane) completely crazy.

Anonymous said...

i must confess, we harnessed. we went on a family reunion to the grand canyon and i had visions of my 15 month old going into the canyon and i wasn't going to let that happen so we harnessed him. and all that family made us feel so guilty. the very next weekend we went somewhere noncanyon-y and guilt-ridden as i was, i didn't harness him. i turned my back and one broken tibia and green stick fracture of the fibula and 4 months in a full leg cast later i so wish i'd not given in.

i'm not saying you should, but if you feel you should, then i say do it!

Missy said...

I get it too. My son is totally different than my daughter, with the climbing, biting, running. I am still able to contain him in strollers and such, for now, but I think that the harness is a great idea.

Jenni said...

I would much rather a thoughtful harnessing than a reckless running free in traffic!

And boys and girls may be equal, but they are not the same! Anyone who says they are does not have both!

Bradley's Mom said...

God Bless Harnesses!!

YES.......boys are definitely different to raise than girls, and YES, for the safety of your child, use a harness when you need to!

And don't feel guilty about it!!

I used them on my boys, some 30 years ago, and have never felt one pang of guilt! So they never got the chance to fall over a cliff!

Take care!!


Anonymous said...

I have 2 boys and have harnessed both. I swore I would never use one before having kids, but found it very necessary as soon as my son could walk - yes, boys have a certain "way" about them; they can be very difficult to manage sometimes!

My oldest LOVED it - even barked like a dog sometimes while wearing it - and it made all of us happier because he could roam "free" and we could relax knowing he wasn't going to run into the street...and get hit by a greyhound!

My 2nd son isn't too crazy about it yet, but we haven't had to use it much yet and I'm sure he'll get used to it as well.

I honestly don't know if anyone has ever given me the "look", but in all honesty, I love my kids too much and I feel so much more comfortable using it, knowing my kid is safe, so I really don't care what anyone else thinks. I have, however, been asked by a couple people where I got mine because they wanted to get one too. I say use it if it makes you feel better!

Oh, and by the way, I'm also the mom who opens up a bag of crackers in the grocery store to give to my kids to keep them quiet (almost every time), and pay for the empty bag at the checkout. I honestly see no harm in that either!

Life As I Know It said...

I definitely think there is a innate difference between girls and boys. No doubt.
I almost bought one of those harnesses for my son, but pretty soon he started staying with me more and stopped the running away in stores thing he did for a long time. If he had kept it up, I definitely would have used one! Especially in crowded places.

Anonymous said...

I think there's nothing wrong with it...and maybe it's just mothering a boy?!

Nap Warden said...

Girl, I got the monkey...and I use it. Traffic in the city move fast and they aren't looking out for little ones! Good for you, keep the little guy safe:)