No Rabbits Were Harmed For This Post

Who knew that when I mentioned I hadn't been feeling well for several days that the pregnancy questions would arise from you silly bloggers?

Not me for sure. See, pregnancy is SO not on my to-do list right now. In fact, I am trying to talk RxMan into going to see the saint doctor who makes sure his little boys will never swim again.... The only child this family will have will come from the loins of a woman across the pond or at least way south of the border- 'cause my loins?

They are closed. for. business. FOREVER.

Yep, that little bundle of boy that I was blessed with nearly eighteen months ago has caused me to swear off the whole reproducing thing for good.

When I was expecting him, I thought oh, three is the perfect number of children. We should certainly have just one more after this little guy. Shuh- right.

The person who said two is easier than one? Yeah, C.R.A.Z.Y. And the idiot (me!) who waited 6 years to get pregnant for her second child? She's flippin' crazy too because it is completely like starting over only you don't have to buy the crib.

For me, the seven year age span has been a blessing in many ways: Claire is a huge help. She doesn't get jealous. She is understanding; she is uber independent. But there are pitfalls: they will probably never be really close. I lost all the independence I had just gotten back.

I could go on. And on. And on. But the simple fact:

I. AM. NOT. PREGNANT. Thank you, Jesus!

I simply have hurt some muscles in my chest and have something called costochondritis, which is much better than the heart attack or blood clot that was originally suspected (and definitively ruled out). *giant sigh of relief and prayer of thanks*

So, thanks for your well wishes and any baby mojo around here is sent out your way with much pleasure.

Off The Radar

I am not feeling well and haven't been for the last several days.

Sorry I have fallen off the edge of the blogosphere....

I am seeing the doctor today for more tests to try to figure out what is causing my mysterious symptoms- or if I am just crazy.

I'm voting crazy, what about you???

Karmic Revenge

'Member how I was making fun of my husband last week for being the sickest man alive?

Yeah, that was a mistake.

'Cause on Sunday afternoon, fate threw me and my little guy a nasty case of the stomach bug out of nowhere. It snuck into my gut and made a happy little home that put me straight onto my back where I stayed until today. (Straight onto my back, that is, after I vomited all over myself, my son and my bedroom carpeting. Any thoughts on stain removal?)

That bug?

Yeah, it was bad. And I mean bad as in badass. As in praying for death. As in crying for my mommy. (Which I did.)

I was in such sorry shape I had to call my mom and ask her to come care for my kids while I spent a great deal of time communing with my least favorite porcelain god.

And my husband, whom I insinuated was the world's biggest baby?

Took the best care of me and my little man EVAH!

Without even one "I told you so" mixed with the ginger ale and saltines.

In sickness and health, indeed.

Plagued

So, every single member of my family is ill.

The girl has a cough that would make most 3 pack a day smokers envious.

My son has an ear infection and a faucet for a nose.

I am still hacking and enjoying my Puffs with Vicks.

My husband spent most of Friday and Saturday vomiting and on the toilet.

Oh, have you heard about vomiting? Well, apparently it is a new illness that only MY husband has experienced. It hurts. It causes aches and pains unlike any other on earth. NO ONE else has ever had a sickness of the magnitude of this one. Nosirreebob.

This is good news for all of you because MY husband has endured the worst case of vomiting and diarrhea on record. Thus, none of us- especially ME- will ever have an illness to compare to this one. It's true.

His puking set new records. The belly ache which accompanied it was the worst ever felt by a human. His experience was simply the worst ever.

Just ask HIM.

The end.

Haiku- Achoo

The illness has hit
Sneezing, sniffling, coughing
But no vomiting! (:

Found some relief, though
Puffs with Vicks are heavenly
So glad we found them!

Leave a trace of Vicks
With each wipe; I love that smell
Helps with stuffiness

Husband says creepy
Like sleeping with his granny!
Too bad, so sad, dude!

More Haiku Friday participants here.

Oh, Mr. Sandman... Where Are You???

Her Highness and I have been a little under the weather over the weekend; she more so than I. I just have a sinusy thing and the aches. HH is coughing, sneezing, hoarse, etc. Of course, she finished her strep throat anitbiotic the day this bout of symptoms appeared. Isn't that always how it works?

I have been dreading The Conqueror getting sick. Of course, I don't want either of my children to feel bad but, as he is still an infant, it affects me more than when HH gets ill. Well, it has happened and the first thing that goes in our house is the sleeping. I'm not 100% sure if he is sick or teething or a combination of the two. Either way, the kid is a crank and unhappy in a bad way.

He was up every two hours last night. That is so difficult on a person to get up and down and up and down with a whiny, stuffy baby. It was like having a newborn again and I have pretty much sworn that off for, oh, FOREVER! I feel bad for the poor little dude 'cause he can't say, oh, well, my throat hurts or my head hurts but I'm feeling pretty sorry for me today, too. I am tired. Tired. Exhausted. Worn out. I feel like I partied all night long minus the upset stomach and embarrassment.

So, if you happen to run into the sandman, send him our way and right quick 'cause we are t-i-r-e-d over here!