Monday, August 18, 2008


I am married to a pharmacist and I hate medicine.

really hate medicine.

I will wait for
hours before taking a couple ibuprofen to clear up a headache.

I will suffer with sniffles and stuffiness for
days before taking Claritin.

I rarely carry my asthma inhaler with me.

Now, I am fighting the doldrums and just can't make myself go to a doctor and see if I need to be medicated.

For some reason- okay, I know why and it all goes back to the people who raised me- I equate medicine with weakness. And medicine that helps with issues such as depression the doldrums and anxiety? Well, those are for the weakest of the weak! Those meds are for people who can't deal with life and all that that entails!

Pish! Posh!

I am strong. I am woman! Hear me roar!

Yeah, I've been doing a lot of roaring and it is at my kids and husband. For no good reason other than that I feel like I am walking around on eggshells- all. the. time. I also feel like I am just about the worst wife and mother on the planet.

But, the hardest thing for me to deal with is that I have little reason to feel so crappy all the time. I am happily married. I am healthy. I am going on vacation in 17 days. My life is really, really good.

But, still....

I can't shake this sense of impending doom. The vacation is causing some anxiety as it will be the first time Liam has slept away from home. Also, the family who we are supposed to travel with may or may not be going. This isn't a big deal (because there is a perfectly good reason) but I am left feeling unsure and up in the air and it is causing me a lot of concern because I just don't know what is happening. It is also a trip of about 700 miles one way. And, I am worried about Liam's traveling and that we are going to die in a car accident.

You know- little things.

So, I go to visit the troll who is my gynecologist on Thursday for our annual visit and I am really going to try to bring this up to her. She, however, is not the most understanding or empathetic lady in the world so I don't know if it will get me anywhere but I will try to talk to her about it....


Yeah, probably not.

'Cause I'm the pharmacist's wife who hates doctors
and pills....

10 comments: said...

Hon, I think you should def. say something to the doctor about how you are feeling anxious. You owe it to yourself and the kids to try to find a way to be your best, even if it might mean the possibility of meds. Good luck. I've been there.

Missy said...

man, you sound just like my husband. He constantly feels achy and tired, but yet refuses to go to the doctor because he is afraid that something serious could be going on. ugh...
say something to your doctor. definitely.

MamaGeek said...

700 miles away? I'm so stoked you're visiting me. :)

I know that feeling and it comes and goes. I'm wondering what RXMan says or would prescribe?

Mandy said...

Wow. Just had to click through to let you know you are not alone in your sentiment. I too am one of those, "We'll just see what happens. I'm good for another day or two." Drives my husband batty. He's all, "Just take the dang pills already!"
And, I STILL haven't gone to see the doctor about those same feelings that you described. I know. Here's hoping that we both see reason. ;-)
Good luck with everything and take care!

Melissa said...

Taking meds sucks. But there are times that you need them. And they do help.

Hang in there!

Dana said...

Hang in there.
I had my talk with my dr last week. She's changing my pills and took some blood test to make sure I don't have any thyroid problem. Haven't heard anything on the results, so I must be "normal".

My kids love road trips. As long as we stop driving after 6 hours, entertain them with movies, and all sleep in the same room, they're ok. We are actually leaving for a road trip this Friday and will be back the following Saturday. We're all pysched for it.
Liam will probably do better than you think.

Jennifer, Playgroups Are No Place For Children said...

I hope you'll say something. I completely understand what you mean about not wanting to take medication. I do the exact same thing, but once I finally give in and finally feel better, I wonder why I took so long!

Life As I Know It said...

oh my gosh, I think I could have written this (except for the vacation part)...for me it's totally seasonal AND hormonal. So basically I'm happy for a total of about 3 months out of the year.
Hope you feel better soon and enjoy your upcoming vacation.

wright said...

Ugh, I'm right there with you about the doc who doesn't really listen. But I do think you should try to say something. Hope your vacation helps too!

Christina said...

It's tough, but if it's affecting you this much, I hope you will say something.

I've been feeling much the same way lately. I'm hoping my husband gets a job soon so that we can afford my antidepressant with insurance again.

(And I know how you feel about not wanting to take meds. There are members of my family who do not know I've ever been on antidepressants, because they'd think I was being weak.)